Friday, April 17, 2009
dammit. its officially friday here and well, those effing
knots are back. one day left before i leave for the UK :S
ok. i really thought i was all grown up and independent and all... but yeah, i have my limits. i hate travelling alone. to newhere. and its even worst when it comes to flights! it just makes me want to stay put (no matter where i am) and not leave.
if it weren't for
nik and
shaun (sayang u guys sooOoOoo la effing much for that) staying up with me to wait for my bus and sending me off and well, giving me the pep talk and telling me im not the only one with silly fears, i would have just missed my flight to the US (i was so tempted, seriously!). but yeah. being alone just makes me get all emotional and emo and just feel so vulnerable it makes me want to cry and hide.... literally. ugh!
i hate this feeling. i really REALLY wanna be independent and all. its kindda frustrating when ppl see me and they instantly know(i put the word know. and not think. cause i know) im a... yeah. mama's girl. manja2. dependent. etc. its not wrong. i know that much. but its nice to u know, not lean on other ppl for support that much... like nikiee. darn i wish i was more like her! can u imagine she basically handled everything for her studies to go to australia on her own. flight, university intake, visa, housing, EVERYTHING! btw, im so proud of u baby ;D
okayy.. so yeah. now. what i need to do. think of good things. reasons why i should go back to bath (well, other than uni obviously. i need happy things!) uhm... uhhhmMmMm.. ugghh.. i wish there was a bus or something - -"
ok. im being childish. kara. *breaths*. k. great. im even shaking now. this happens everytime im in trouble *uhm* or well, when im scared. or is it just the cold? LOL. whatever it is. i dont like. ive got one day left and i just dont wanna go back. grrr.... remind me to never go newhere alone!
dammit. planning to visit roy and fam next yr. *sigh*
i
need
to
grow
up
!
...more
note: im pretty sure i've grown up a lot in the past 7 months... but yeah. apparently not enough.
i want my mama ;(
kawa Boo! blogged at 6:15 am
