Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Had a good day today! Went up (rather reluctant, I must admit) to campus to ready my prototypes for tomorrow's exhibition and coincidentally saw Dan and Afiqah there as well! We went to grab a snack after that and hung out at the amphitheatre. It was super random with the oddest group I'd have imagined. But it was all good fun. Then Dan gave me a ride home since he drives a car and lives pretty near to me. Tee hee. After that, went out with Shaun (supposedly for a trip to the park but instead) to the Asian grocery store to get some tofu for dinner. Om nom nom nom. kawa Boo! blogged at 9:10 pm
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Inalilahi Rajiun. I just found out that my cousin, or rather my niece's (whom I kindda see as my cousin really, cause she's a couple of years older) mom, just passed away. Everyone thought she was recovering well from her amputation surgery (diabetes - gangrene) but I guess things eventually took a turn for the worst. Ina Lillahi Wa Ina Ilayhi Raajioon. God rest her soul. "To Allah we belong and unto Him is our return". Honestly, I didn't know her all too well. I mean, I've obviously seen her plenty of times since she is a part of our close knit extended family, but nevertheless I never REALLY knew her. Furthermore, it doesn't help that there is/was also tension between out families. But in the end, I guess those things just don't matter and we need to be there for those who need us, especially when it comes to family. I haven't actually spoken/asked mama about it as I only got the news through Lyana's facebook post. I wonder how everything is at home. I can imagine it being really hard especially for Mak Long. And it doesn't help that some of the aunties are away for holiday in Turkey to visit Auntie Uni. Nevertheless, I hope the tahlil is going well and that the family has enough support for each other. It really makes you think of how short life is though. Death. My parents are in their 60's and Alhamdulillah they are still going strong, even though they have minor discomforts that comes with aging. I guess that is one of the main reasons why I am so excited to see my parents come to Bath for my graduation (Insyallah) and to be coming home to PJ with them. Unlike some parents who would rather see their kids living their own lives (I've got nothing against this. Everyone to their own), my parents value the times we spent together and if they had their way, all their kids would be their neighbours! Even with my grandmother, my mom would make time to try and visit her every week or at least every other week. And growing up seeing that, family just becomes so much more important. I know I've done a lot of silly things when it comes to family. Things that happened cause I was either jealous, selfish, didn't think things through, or just plain self-centred. That is why before coming home this summer, I've planned a tonnes of stuff just to somewhat make amends to those I've wronged, but mostly just to spend time with the family. Nikiee's been working for the past year now and I don't know if I'm going to be as hectic or busy as her, but I want to start work knowing that I've got a solid foundation first... and getting a job... ugh, that's whole other story. So I guess, what I'm trying to say is, count your blessings. Care for those around you while there are still here. And even though there are rough patches here and there, you should always try to overcome them. Try to see things through their eyes and hopefully you can find a common ground. Damn I'm so bored :) kawa Boo! blogged at 5:36 pm
Monday, May 21, 2012
One thing I think I lack most and something I am envious of a lot of people is - PASSION. I wish I have something I can just dive into and immerse myself with. And no matter how tiring or how difficult it gets, it still ends up being something that is worth all that effort. Gah! Now I can see why going to school is so much easier.. People tell me what to do, and that somewhat gives me a direction. AND all the while I get to whine all about it if it doesn't turn out great - like biology in form 3 :/ I wish I knew what I want to do in life! I mean, I know people say sometimes it takes a long time to find out what you really REALLY want in life, assuming that you're lucky enough to even find out at all! I guess that's the big question. What's my purpose in life? I'm not talking about religion, mind you. In that sense I am not doubting that I do have a purpose. Anyone can have a job; it can be a part time job at 7-eleven, or a full time job as an engineer. But I think what I really wanna do is have a job that would leave a mark here for when I leave (wow this is so cliche). In short, I wanna save the world -.- That's about the vaguest thing I've ever said. And I know it's impossible to literally save the world, but every little thing helps. Right? Ughh... I don't wanna fix things like air-conditioners and build better roads for drivers all my life (was looking through government jobs at JKR)! Then again, I might be asking too much. As much as I want to be different, to be outstanding and to be special, I am average. At least that's what university has made me realised. It's really sad and definitely not something I expected to learn when I first reached Bath. Back in first year, everything was so open to possibilities. No exam results or work experience to pin point my level in society. Just hope and dreams for a bright future. It's a little infuriating to be honest. Even after going through years and years of education, there is still so much more for me to learn. Courses to pass. Experience to gain. It's never ending really. Sigh. Need to stop whining and just suck it up. That's life. Tough luck. Listening to my internal clock ticking doesn't help either. Pffft. Though, rationally it is something that I shouldn't be worried about. Right?
Labels: realising
kawa Boo! blogged at 11:09 pmsite
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