Thursday, April 28, 2011

Can you effing believe it? Aryssa got beaten up by a GROUP of boys in school today. She ACTUALLY got stepped on and hit on the head with a metal pencil case, among other stuff!! Gah! Not only is she just a girl, but having to go against a group of... *detain from swearing*.

I hope tomorrow when my daddy comes up to you, you'll pee in your pants out of pure unadulterated fear.

Sigh. I can't imagine what I would've done if anything happened to her :/ I need to go home.

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kawa Boo! blogged at 2:06 pm

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Monday, April 18, 2011

Last night was horrible. Well, actually the time I spent sleeping or trying to, as oppose to my actual evening.

I was home by 10.30pm, totally tired from the 5 hours spent at the BAMSA bbq followed by 4 hours of work and a buffet dinner. Only managed to fall asleep after midnight.

Throughout the whole night, I woke up 5 times!... Not to mention the stream of nightmares that came with sleep. First time, it was cause I was thirsty. The next three was a tug-of-war between "too warm under the blanket" and "too cold without the blanket". So ended up kicking the thick blanket away and opting for a thinner blanket. Lastly, woke up cause somehow it was just so uncomfortable! Agh!

The alarm went of at 8.55am but I thought I'd sleep in a little. Usually, I'd be up in 15-30 minutes on my own, but instead I woke up at 10.30 and was late for my meeting. Sigh.

Now I feel like crap and I have a headache.

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kawa Boo! blogged at 1:35 pm

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Thursday, February 24, 2011

I hate me.

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kawa Boo! blogged at 11:04 pm

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Saturday, February 19, 2011

.... Procrastinating. Gah!

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kawa Boo! blogged at 5:08 pm

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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

My vertigo came back. Shit.
Just one more week of stress Kara. Then home :/

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kawa Boo! blogged at 1:50 pm

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I need to chill... *breath in* *breath out*

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kawa Boo! blogged at 9:30 am

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Wednesday, November 03, 2010

I can't believe I screwed my electrical labs ;((

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kawa Boo! blogged at 7:56 pm

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Tuesday, September 07, 2010

I just got my semester timetable. I finally realise that I need something to look forward to going back to Bath. For once I honestly cannot see the upside to this. All I feel is P.U.R.E terror in my gut. So many what ifs. I need something to look forward to. God, why is starting anew so hard. New classes. New people. New home. Nothing is the same. I really need, absolutely need, this to be a good year :3

I need something solid. Hm.

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kawa Boo! blogged at 5:03 pm

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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Myra has Influenza B. &*#&*@&#^$&$#@#!!!

...Sigh. I think I'm gonna get it also since I've been the one closest to her. And I think she got it from Soraya. Haih. This means I cant go to the reunion on Saturday. Am stuck home for a week.

;((

Fyi,it's the baby sister of Influenza A so it's not as bad or anything. Thank god.

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kawa Boo! blogged at 2:41 pm

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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!!! She's back! Omg I just wanna effing curse through out this wholeeeeeeeeeeee post!! And just when I thought I was in the clear. Ugh! All that hard work. Gone to waste. Just to let everything come to this. Oh, the fake smiles. I don't wanna go through even another second of that; having to keep reminding myself that it isn't so bad. I use to have something to look forward to - only having to keep up with the charade for just a few months just until she leaves. To keep the peace. But now. Oh gee golly. Congrats on being able to do your masters in Bath.

I need a new circle of friends.


;(

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kawa Boo! blogged at 10:50 am

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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I hate how the thought keeps lingering.

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kawa Boo! blogged at 6:03 pm

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Monday, July 12, 2010

I don't know why. I didn't go. It seems childish, maybe. Or even selfish. But I don't like funerals. People cry, wail and even if they don't you can see the look on their faces. And it just... sucks the life out of you.

At funerals people mourn, they reflect what had happened - try to go over the deceased's last few hours alive, praise for their life's achievements and their good deeds and most importantly pray for them in their after life. People try to wrap the idea around their head that this person has actually moved on. He left. Gone. Body buried in the ground. For some, people accept this though it can be at different rates. Some may wail till their eyes get all puffy, some may stare into nothing and feel numb from the world, some may just be there to comfort others. Either way, emotional roller coasters are unavoidable. In a bad sense.

I'd like to take this chance to give my condolences to the whole family and everyone else who has been affected by this ONE person's death. It is such a tragedy. I may not know him well or even ever spoke to him but from the number of people that were present at his burial, I can imagine how much he was well loved. From the stories you can hear, you know that he was a good son, a good brother, a good nephew, a good friend.

Strangely, I'm almost envious of him - of the way he left the world. I know accidents are not among the best ways to go, but the fact that (from stories,) he managed to spend his time with his family towards the end, be able to tell them how much he loved them, even say his somewhat goodbyes to his girlfriend and last but not least, be able to recite the Yaasin himself. It's almost beautiful. Papa was saying that he might not have been able to cheat death since it was just his time to go, but at least he had the privilege to somewhat know that it was his time and he was able to make the most out of it.

You know, I hate the fact that even with someone that I barely know, I am able to tear up, feel genuine empathy for the people around him and silently mourn. I literally cannot and won't even try to imagine what would happen if it was someone who was very close to me that passed away. I don't know how I'd ever cope. I know life and death is a part of living. Papa keeps reminding of it. And life is short, to say the least. But. Argh, okay. I don't even wanna think about it.

Well anyway, insyallah tonight I'll recite the Yaasin for him and if anyone else who's reading this, is able to, and haven't done so, it would be great if you could recite the Al-Fatihah for him... Damn, I don't even remember his name.

Since I couldn't bare to attend the funeral (it would've been my second), this is my way of paying back. I'm really sorry for your loss and to not be able to be there with you through this hard time - Uncle Kas, Aunty Badariah, Muadz, Mukhris and everyone else who I can't even start to name cause I'm sure it would be a REALLY long list. I know he meant the world to most of you. He will be dearly missed by all. But I truly believe that he is in a better place. And hey, in the end Insyallah god willing, we will all be reunited again. That's the only thing that I think would keep me going at a time like this. Everyone will be reunited again. Someday.

*Al-Fatihah*

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kawa Boo! blogged at 2:21 pm

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